Surely Not I?

22 Deeply distressed, each one began to say to him, “Surely not I, Lord?” Matthew 26:22

Jesus tells the disciples that one of them will betray Him. Matthew says they were deeply distressed. Then, one by one, they ask the same question: “Surely not I, Lord?”

Their first move isn’t self-defense. It’s sorrowful self-suspicion.

Let me be blunt: I’m one step from stupid every day of my life. I don’t need anyone to convince me of that. What still gets me is how easy it is to forget the whole thing in the moment and start trusting my own strength like it’s suddenly reliable.

The longer I walk with Jesus, the clearer it gets. Maturity isn’t pretending I’ll never fall. It’s staying close enough to know how badly I need Him. Confidence in myself has never made me more faithful. Dependence on Christ has.

Maybe that’s why the question keeps following me. Not because I live afraid of failing Him, but because I never want to lose the awareness of how deeply I need Him.

Lord, I need You. Protect me from myself. Let Your warnings pull me closer, not push me away, and teach my stubborn self to lean hard on Your grace, not on whatever strength I think I’ve got.